Ted Byfield: Eggen unwittingly opens wide a door to Christianity in the schools
Whenever I pause to think of the University of Alberta’s Institute for Sexual Minority Studies (which admittedly isn’t often) I find my curiosity aroused by the glaring limitation of view that so inhibits their work.
This institute, you will recall, was caught last month running a government-funded website that offered Alberta school children down to the age of six detailed instructions on oral sex and masturbation, and presented them with illustrated positions for various forms of homosexual activity. This and much else was being purveyed through the student sex clubs which Education Minister David Eggen is vigorously urging upon all schools throughout the province.
The purpose of the clubs, we are told, is to offer “safe places” to protect these children from the vicious bullying and ridicule which so often assails “sexual minorities” throughout the school system. The possibility that these students could easily fall into more danger from their protectors than from their supposed persecutors, does not seem to have occurred to the management.
But what intrigues me is this: Where are all the other sexual minorities? The institute seems to focus totally on male homosexuals and lesbians, and on boys who think they’re girls and girls who think they’re boys. What about the necrophiliacs, the bestialists, the peeping toms, the gropers, all of them fully qualified sexual minorities and yet totally ignored? Why are we not getting heart-rending appeals by the Institute’s Dr. Kris Wells for the “protection from scorn” of those unfortunate men, dressed only in raincoats, who flash them open when women and girls go by? If the homosexuals can be given their own “rainbow room,” why can’t the bestialists be given their own rainbow barn or something? And why can’t the flashers be given, say, a continuing supply of new raincoats? After all, we wouldn’t want our Alberta flashers to appear on the streets ill clad.
(Be careful now, Byfield, you’ll be accused of spreading homophobia. I deny it. What I’m spreading is homonausea, a common disease, acquired when the mind moves from the pristinely clinical glossary of a Professor Wells to the brutish, bawdy and bizarre actualities of the bedroom — actualities so incongruous with our spiritual nature that as long as our thoughts have been recorded, our species have found the whole process of sex uproariously funny. God’s joke on us, some say, so that we won’t take ourselves too seriously.)
This article continues at [Ted Byfield Blog] Eggen unwittingly opens wide a door to Christianity in the schools